


Gross Matter

by AEpixie7



Series: Ineffable Bureaucracy [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: An accident that Beelz totally planned, Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Beelzebub is canonically a gluttony demon, F/M, Female Pronouns for Beelzebub, Food Kink, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Gabriel tastes food for the first time, Using an angel as your personal silver platter, devouring angels and shit, it's kind of her thing, kind of by accident, so you know, they're both bi/pan in my eyes, y'all know the drill by now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 22:28:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20610380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AEpixie7/pseuds/AEpixie7
Summary: Beelz likes food. Gabriel doesn't. So they compromise and both enjoy food lol. (It's sexier than it sounds)





	Gross Matter

“Don’t make that face, Gabriel, it's not very attractive,” Beelzebub teased, grinning at the scowl he was wearing. 

“It wasn’t meant to be attractive, because I don’t find this idea very attractive.” 

“It’s one of my kinks. Didn’t you say you wanted to explore my kinks, the way I did with you?” 

_Ahhhh, guilt. The quickest way to get an angel to do what you want,_ she thought with another grin. 

Gabriel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I did say that,” he confirmed, though he looked woefully reserved to his fate. 

Beelzebub crawled across the bed, her hand easing up his neck and into his hair. She was aware the gesture was fairly intimate, for them, but it was the means to an end. Gabriel could get very uncomfortable very quickly when he was on Earth, and she'd seen him flee rapidly back to Heaven on more than one occasion because of it. She couldn’t have him getting overwhelmed when the thought of exploring this particular kink already had her stomach in knots and her mouth watering. 

“But you know I don’t consume this… _stuff,_ so… why did it have to be food?” 

“Yes, Gabriel, you egotist, I chose my kinks specifically to annoy you.” 

Gabriel seethed at her, before picking up a bottle of honey and frowning down at it. “So this… gets you off, does it?” 

“Well, I’ve never brought food into my sexual endeavorzzz before, so I don’t know. But I really like food, and I _really_ like sex. So I want to try it. What are you so afraid of, angel? That you won't like it? Or that you _will?_” she prodded even further, biting her lip and giggling at him when he smacked her hand away from where it was coursing through his hair. She knew she was pushing his buttons, but it was just too much fun. It made butterflies flutter low in her belly and the back of her neck tingle delightfully. She was honestly starting to think she might have a kink for annoying Gabriel. 

“I’m not _afraid,_ you ass,” Gabriel barked, and Beelzebub laughed. Gabriel was many things. Courageous was not one of them. 

“Then why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” 

Gabriel tried to contain his smile and failed. He finally glanced up at her, frowning. He bit his lip and nervously placed the bottle of honey on the side table, his eyes avoiding hers as he picked distractedly at his own fingernails. “Beelz I'm serious, I don’t… I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m completely out of my element here and… this is all very foreign to me,” he said quietly, the insecurity in his confession actually shocking her. She thought it over for a moment, before reaching over him and grabbing the bottle. She flipped the cap open and held his hand in hers, allowing a glob of the sweet amber liquid to dribble out onto his finger, watching as it oozed almost all the way down to his knuckle. She licked a bit of it away from his fingertip, before sucking his entire finger sensually into her mouth, her eyes meeting his and loving the little sigh that slipped past his trembling bottom lip, his eyes fixated on the way his finger eased gingerly from her lips. 

“Alright then. I’m not going to force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t want to try any of it, you don’t have to. But that just meanzzz… more for me…” she punctuated her statement by wrapping her mouth around his finger once again, even though it was perfectly clean by now, and allowing it to slowly pull back out of her mouth, slick with saliva. Gabriel swallowed hard and cleared his throat before he spoke, though his voice was much weaker than it had been. 

“I uh… that’s… very thoughtful of you…” he murmured, watching as she dropped the honey bottle on top of the duvet and crawled to straddle him, her fingers working the buttons of his dress shirt. He leaned back on his elbows and tilted his head, admiring the little flush of her cheeks at the compliment. 

“I'm a demon. I’m not thoughtful,” she snarled, yanking his shirt open and popping the remaining buttons, before leaning down and biting his chest rather forcefully. He threw his head back with a hiss, but didn’t throw her off. Instead, he began squirming beneath her, his thigh pressing up between her legs and finding heat. 

“When you said you might have a food kink, I didn’t think _I_ would be the food,” he teased, groaning as her tongue licked abstract shapes over her own bite mark, sending shivers down his body from the sensation. 

“I like biting. I think it’s sexy. I like the taste of you. Having an angel in my mouth, it's… divine. Like the rarest delicacy, for a demon,” she muttered, dragging her nose across his chest before very lightly grazing her teeth over his nipple. He whined loudly, his hands jolting up to her thighs as he rolled his hips, pressing his hard cock between their clothed bodies. She chuckled at him, glancing up at his pretty violet eyes, rimmed with dark eyelashes that fluttered when he sighed. 

“You may not want to partake… but I do. I want to use your skin, use your body. I want to get you all messy, and then lick you clean. Think you can handle me… desecrating this celestial temple like that?” she asked, her lips hovering against his chest and relishing the pounding of his heart beneath. 

“Ye-yes,” he stammered, his body beginning to quiver as she reached for the honey bottle again. She snapped her fingers and rid them both of their clothing, before squeezing a small amount of honey onto her fingertip and trailing it down his stomach. She crawled back down his body, licking and kissing the sugary trail down his abs, humming pleasurably at the taste of his skin and the way his body heat made the honey melt a bit, turning it to more of a liquid as she licked and sucked lower. She glanced up at him mischievously, intentionally avoiding one specific body part, before nipping at his upper thigh, her grin widening when he jerked and gasped. A bit of precum began beading at the head of his cock, and she watched with fascination as the hard member twitched with excitement. She admired it for a few moments, making a point of not touching him where he wanted it, and instead backing all the way to the foot of the bed, her hands wrapping around his ankles as she pushed his legs a bit wider. He gasped and his legs tensed, his eyes following her as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. 

“Relax angel. I’m not going to hurt you. Not this time anyway,” she teased with a little grin, not shocked in the slightest that he seemed to tense even worse. She figured she was probably looking at him rather hungrily. If he was a bit intimidated, well… so be it. 

She dribbled little helpings of honey up his leg, making sure there were places where it was thicker, so she could linger. Places that would garner some reactions from the presently standoffish angel- his ankle, the inside of his knee, along his upper thigh. “Relax,” she repeated, before lifting his leg and licking a slow circle around his ankle bone, her eyes drifting up his body when he eased back onto the bed from his elbows, a long sigh escaping his lips as she felt him relax a bit. She used the tip of her tongue to flick from his ankle to the back of his heel, his leg jerking as he stumbled over a laugh. She smiled as she repeated the move, his body tensing and his cock bouncing up from his stomach. 

“Ticklish, are you?” she asked as she crawled forward, her tongue swirling along his calf before dipping toward the back of his knee. 

“No-_oh shit,_” he mumbled when her lips and tongue explored the sensitive skin at the back of his knee, the sweet, syrupy honey oozing over her tongue and making her sigh. She mouthed at the trail of honey up his thigh, taking her time to clean the skin and earning little whimpers from the angel as she moved higher. 

“Beelz… can I… touch?” he mumbled, and she glanced up to find him reaching for his cock but having stopped before he touched himself. She smiled as her stomach flipped with excitement. 

“That’s a good boy. Asking permission. Yes, you may,” she nodded, unashamed as she watched his strong hand grasp his cock and slowly begin stroking himself, a low groan accompanying the bit of precum that dribbled out from the head and smeared into his hand. 

“Are you still uncomfortable?” she asked, smirking because she already knew the answer. He closed his eyes and continued stroking himself in long, slow motions. 

“No, you can… keep going, I… kinda like it,” he muttered, his eyes closed and his cheeks blushing from the admission. 

Beelzebub backed away, crawling from the bed and retrieving a can of whipped cream and a bowl of strawberries and depositing them on the bed. “Good. You just enjoy yourself, and I'll do the same,” she said, loving the little smile that crawled across his lips, though his eyes remained closed. 

She used her index and middle fingers to smear his chest and stomach with the sweet cream, her stomach once again tied up in knots when she passed over one of his nipples and made him buck up into his hand with a little whimper. She couldn’t wait any longer, watching him squirm like that. She dipped forward and mouthed over his nipple, making him buck more erratically and force out a quick breath. 

“You… are… _deliciouzzzzz,_” she mumbled, her lips still absently mouthing at the whipped cream on his chest. 

“And you are insatiable,” he muttered, somewhat breathless from his own stimulation. 

“You have _no idea…_” she teased, glancing up and finding him watching her. There was hunger in his eyes that she'd never seen before. 

“I like this. I like watching you enjoy yourself. Even if it is this… _gross matter._” 

“Well I never said I had good taste. I like _you_ don’t I?” 

Gabriel sat up quickly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her flush against him, smearing some of the whipped cream against her chest as he kissed her ravenously. He groaned into the kiss, his tongue caressing against hers before he lightly bit her bottom lip. She could feel her chest already sticky as she pulled back slightly. 

“You ass,” she said, trying desperately to hide her little grin. She’d gotten him to abandon his strict need for cleanliness. She wondered what else she could get him to try. 

He leaned back against the bed, one large hand spread wide over her chest, smearing the whipped cream and then reaching once again for his cock and smothering it. _Sly bastard._

She arched an eyebrow, and began mentally arguing with herself. She didn’t like that he had essentially just suggested _suck my cock._ No, no. Gabriel didn’t give the orders. Gabriel followed them, or he got beat. 

But _goddamn_ his cock was mouthwatering, all covered in whipped cream and tantalizing. 

She didn’t know when her body had betrayed her, but the next thing she knew, his cock was sliding along her tongue, the sugary sweetness making her cheeks tingle as she moaned pleasurably. She was angry at herself for succumbing so easily to the angel's wiles but _fuck_ this felt so good. It tasted even better. She sucked her cheeks in against him and bobbed her head, making sure every inch of him was licked and sucked clean. She knew he must be panting and moaning, with how completely she was _devouring_ him, but she couldn’t hear it over her own sounds of pleasure. 

She felt him tense and removed herself, just before he came, and rocked back on her heels to enjoy the way he _writhed_ on the precipice. His hand reached for his cock, to finish the job, but she pinned both his wrists down at his sides, grinning maniacally at his helpless little whimper. 

“Excuzze me sir. I’m not finished with my meal just yet. That was the appetizzzer. It’s rude to finish so quickly when you’re with a guest.” 

His entire body was now quaking, and she held his wrists until she was sure he wouldn’t try to come again. She let go when he nodded weakly, her hand reaching for the bowl of strawberries and dragging one of the berries delicately through the remaining whipped cream on his chest, purposefully flicking over a nipple as she passed and earning a high-pitched whine. 

She brought the strawberry up to her lips and savored that first bite. Berries had always been one of her favorites. The texture, the tiny bit of resistance against her teeth when she first began to close her mouth around it, and then the burst of flavor when it gave way, the juices spilling over her tongue if they were ripened just so. And these were _perfect_. They were supple and sweet, and she moaned as she closed her eyes, the juices filling her mouth. She opened her eyes just in time to see Gabriel crash into her, his lips pressed tightly against hers, the sweet essence of the strawberry lingering on both their lips. Gabriel whimpered into her mouth, and she froze when she realized that was probably the first time he’d ever tasted… well _anything_. 

He was absolutely _trembling_ with sensation when he pulled back, his bottom lip stained red with the berry's juices. His tongue slid carefully over his lip, tasting it as he looked up at Beelzebub, his violet eyes entirely overwhelmed and glistening from such a raw, new experience. She felt a burst of Hellfire and lust burning in her belly at the sight: Gabriel tempted to sin. To lust and gluttony. It made her rabid for the rest of his sins. All of them. Every desire he had ever tried to contain. She would draw every single one of them from his body with a whimper and a plea. 

She planted both hands on his shoulders and shoved him roughly back onto the bed, lining him up and sinking quickly down onto his thick cock with a sigh. He threw his head back and gripped her hips roughly, his fingertips digging in to her flesh as he rolled his hips and choked out a moan. 

She leaned back and began riding him, her head rolling back as she smiled devilishly up at the Heavens. “You know why I like this so much? This kink in particular? With you? Because berries, honey, sweet cream… all the delightzzz of Earth to feast upon… they are God'zz creation. When I bite into a strawberry, I feel like I'm stealing just a little bit of something back from God. She tried to take all our luxuries away, to make us miserable, when She cast us out. But She can’t keep us from enjoying Her creations. And I am. I'm stealing two of her creationzzz right now and it gives me _so much pleasure…_” 

She practically snarled those last words in the direction of Heaven, before Gabriel's strong hand cupped her jaw and pulled her down to face him. The movement of her hips slowed when she saw equal parts terror and desire in his eyes. They softened quickly, as he banished whatever emotions her words had stirred to the surface, his thumb tracing her bottom lip before reaching for a strawberry and offering it to her. She wrapped both hands intently around his wrist, steadying his hand as she bit in to the berry, her eyes blazing Hellfire into his as she slowly rode him, her mouth sucking at the strawberry so the juices would dribble down her chin. She tilted her head back as she felt it dripping down her neck, Gabriel's lips hungrily sucking the juice from her neck as he began thrusting up into her. 

“_Fuck._ Watching you like this, Beelz…” he stuttered, still lavishing her neck with kisses as he mouthed at the last remnants of the berry juice. “Watching you… in _ecstasy_ from such bliss… I can't even imagine… having denied myself for so long… _fuck you're so beautiful like this._ High on Her creations. Taking what you want from Her. From me. You can have me, my Prince. I'm yours. I’ll give you everything if it makes you happy like this,” he panted beneath her jaw, waiting as she floated deliriously down to claim his mouth, a whimper caught between them. 

“I want… to come,” she gasped, her hands gripping his muscular shoulders as she tried to steady herself. This much tempting in one go… and an _angel_ no less. _Her_ angel. She was most certainly high on it. 

Gabriel wrapped an arm around her lower back and spun them both, knocking the bowl of strawberries from the bed as he pressed tightly between her legs and began thrusting _gloriously_ at this new angle. His hand was trembling as he reached for the honey bottle, fumbling with the cap before letting little morsels of it dribble down onto her nipple. He threw the bottle across the room and sucked her nipple between his lips, earning a cry and making her back arch and _oh_ when she tipped her hips like that! 

She screamed his name when she came, her thighs shuddering and her toes curling as her heels dug into his back, both hands clawing at his shoulders as she rode out the waves. Gabriel was far too overstimulated to contain his own climax, the new flavors mixing with the taste of Beelzebub's skin sending him reeling and making him bumble out a few words in Enochian. If God hadn’t been paying attention before, She certainly was now. 

Gabriel was gasping against Beelzebub's chest, his tongue tingling with the slowly fading experience of sweetness. It was _good._ It tasted like Beelzebub. It tasted like _sin._ He wanted _more._

“Beelz… you wanna... grab dinner sometime?” 

She outright laughed. 

“Gabriel, you moron, you're supposed to buy me dinner _before_ we fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yo this one was surprisingly difficult to write because of my own complicated relationship with food. I walked away from this fic for a long time cuz it was stressin me out. I actually really like how it turned out, lemme know what y'all think!


End file.
